Argument

         When it comes to disciplining your child, is violence the only way to get your point across. Some parents seem to think that violence is the only way that their children will listen and or respect them. In reality there are other actions that can be taken instead of leading right to violence to solve your problems. Parents who hit their children are only creating fear not love for the child. Spanking your child may often lead to them having emotional issues in the future, and may cause them to be abusive to their own children when they become parents.

            For children who are being disciple with corporal punishment are shown to have emotional and behavioral issues later in life (Dr. Ben Kim.) More than likely children who are spanked tend to feel low about them and start to believe that they deserve to get hit. Eventually some children place the parent’s short tempered personalities on themselves for making their parents that mad in the first place. Hitting your child only shows them that using abusive behaviors towards other people when they make you upset is okay. This way of disciplining children does not show them how to deal with frustrating situations as they get older; it only shows them that violence is what gets your point across. That’s not the solution at all.

            Personally I come from an old fashion Portuguese household. When my mother was growing up spanking your child was the least uncommon thing to do. Olden days have shown that, that was the only way to discipline their children. They know nothing about child abuse and taking things too far as we know about today. No child likes to be punished in that way but in my mother’s case she couldn’t hate that way of discipline any more than she did.

She always said she would never discipline her children in the same ways that she was disciplined and she never did. She always did say though, that there was a vast difference in spanking your child in terms of giving them a tap on the hand for doing something they should not have and physically beating your child. Growing up if my sister and I would misbehave she would punish us differently. Things like cell phones, television sets, any other electronic devices, or even not hanging out with friends for some time would get taken away until further notice. My mother has this system where she would ground us for a certain period of time and for every different chore or good thing that we did to help out with each other or for our parents one day was taken off of our individual punishments. No physical harm had to be done to me or my sister for us to gain that respect for our mother and to know that what we had done was wrong for her to punish us in the first place.

Being a parent of course you do not want your child to feel like they can walk all over you because you’re not being violent and abusive with them. You still as a parent have to take matters into your own hands when it comes to disciplining your child so they learn the difference between what acceptable behaviors is and what is not. Some parents take disciplining their child to a whole other level when the discipline becomes abuse. That’s not acceptable even for the parents. Abuse also doesn’t just mean physical harm towards the child; it could mean emotional abuse as well. Sometimes words hurt more than actually being hit (When can discipline turn into abuse?)

There are some things that you could do to punish your child but in a non-violent ways. Punishing and rewarding/ encouragement are a good tool when disciplining your child. Parents are so quick to notice when a child does bad. Children need to hear praise when they perform appropriately also. Positive reinforcement makes for less troubled behavior.

            In some people’s defense, the fact of spanking your child is sometimes okay if done appropriately. Pediatricians have stated that is more likely that parents spank children around the ages of 2 to 6 and no older than the age of 10 (Its okay to spank your kids now.) In some households the parents don’t know any different on how to raise their children. Using force towards a child may have been something that they were raised with and used within their family and has always seemed to be the method to be used. Maybe to some parents they feel that’s the only way their child listens is when they physically take care of the problem.

Many people come up with different reasons why they are pro spanking or why they are not. Maybe it’s because that’s all they’ve ever know when they were growing up and they just continue with what has always been done; or simply just maybe because they feel like their child listens better when spanking is being used. Unfortunately some parents just do it to feel in control and sadly leaving their children probably emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives. Whatever the case may be there is a difference between discipline and beating your child.  

Works Cited Page

 ·         "Should Parents Spank Their Children?" Dr. Ben Kim .com. Web. 01 May 2012. <http://drbenkim.com/should-parents-spank-children.html>.

·         "When Can Discipline Turn Into Abuse?" Pregnancy and Parenting. Web. 01 May 2012. <http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/when-can-discipline-turn-into-abuse>.

·         "Get the Word Out!" Get the Word Out! Web. 01 May 2012. <http://ateasetees.wordpress.com/2007/12/14/its-ok-to-spank-your-kids-now/>.

Purposal Topics for Argument

·         Marrying someone who is already married to someone else?

·         Family violence: Are parents taking forms of discipline to far? Violence parents. 

·         Gay marriage: Do same sex parents make better parents then different sex parents?

·         Single parent families: Do you need both set of parents to raise respectable children?

·         Teenage parents: Too young to be parents? Children having children.

·         Surrogate mothers: Do surrogate mothers have any say towards the infant’s life prior to birth? Are surrogate mothers only temporary carriers? Or much more than that. Attachment issues that come with being a surrogate mother.

Ethnography

All mother daughter relationships are not the same. Some consist of going to the most extreme as being best friends and as low as to not speaking to one another unless absolutely necessary.  A mother should be the one whom you should be able to approach with everything and that person that you can confide the most in. Mothers are looked at as to provide that sense of security and any other desirable attachment you need to have with a person. When that feeling of acceptance and love is not there who do you turn to? In my personal life, my mother is my absolute savior.

            Ever since a young age my mother’s face was my light at the end of the tunnel. For the first few years of my life I had always have a set of parents like every so called “American Family” had. A father and a mother who I thought were the happiest I had known and would be together forever. That illusion in my mind suddenly ended one morning. Standing there as a seven year old vulnerable child I watched as my father gathered a few belongings and left that day. What I thought had been perfect was actually catastrophe in the making.

            I remember I used to ask myself, was it me? Was there something that I could have done differently to make him stay? To make them not argue? But no answers made sense to why it would still result in him leaving. Being young I always thought you needed both parents to be a family and to be happy and loved. I soon learned that wasn’t the case. It was as if my mother had become mommy and daddy and as I got older it became hard to think that I ever really needed both parents to make a family, to feel like a family.

            My whole life I have respected any parent out there that are single parents. My mother had shown me that you did not need to have both parents to make it and to be a family. She had enough love and reassurance as if she were two people. Although she may have not been able to fill that void that I had been missing for a short while in my life, she did fulfill every possible duty that a mother or father could accomplish single handedly.

            She is always dressed professionally to fit her job prescription as a supervisor for an insurance company. I always know when she is around by the clicking of those five inch heels, which I always wondered how she mastered. She holds a strong serious personality but a laid back self when fits appropriate. She is never one to flash it up with accessories or any kind of flashy makeup to cover her natural glow. The term natural beauty always seemed to apply in my eyes when I look at her.

            The iPhone 4s has recently become my mother’s no addiction. It is like as if she just became 16 years old all over again with all her games, music, and etc. She is always “with it” when it comes to the newest thing in young kids lives. I think she stays with it to know what I am up to honestly. But to me it just proves that she cares enough to know what is going on in my life and to be a part of that. My mother is and has always been the rock. Friends and family have always felt comfortable to come to her with whatever they may have needed her for. She seems to always know what to say, how to make things better, and to make you see things differently and better.

            In my household it is my mother, my younger sister, I, and my recently adopted godson who is now legally my brother. To my mother we three are all that matters. To her every day is about us and what we need. She is selfless and never thinks of herself before anyone in her family. She is the typical Portuguese mother. Does all the running around all day, comes home does what needs to be taken care of at home, and still manages to have dinner made every night. She loves to cook and I know she takes pride in it, which is a good thing for the people enjoying it.

            Watching how strong my mother has been my whole life has shown me that sometimes you need bad things in life to only make you stronger and that’s how you figure out what kind of person you really are.

to be continued:

Memoir

     Families come in all shapes and sizes. Family isn’t determined by how many people are in your family, or how many set of grandparents you have or even if you have both set of parents in your life. It’s about so much more than that. Family is about having those people that you know at the end of the day no matter what the situation they are there for you. They care for your wellbeing and anything that you could need they are the ones to be standing there in the middle of your darkest days with open arms to relieve the struggle. 
     It truly took me some time to grasp that concept. It took situations to occur in my life to realize that you don’t always need so many people in your life to consider that family. That’s what family should be there for is the worst and always fight to find the best in something together. Sometimes under the worst circumstances, those are the moments that bring you closer than you ever thought imaginable. For at those moments nothing means more than the people that surround you and the moments you share together as a family.
     One the morning of March 6 2003, I truly learned what it meant to be a family. It had been what seemed to be a normal day. It was the middle of winter and snow had started to cover the streets of Fall River. I remember it seeming as peaceful as could be as if there was not a worry in the world to pass the mind. I remember being excited because that day at school it was a so called “relaxed day.” My fourth grade teacher wanted to reward everyone for doing so good on our tests that we had taken a few days before. Chips, drinks, games, and movies were shared all that day to reward us for our hard work. That day had been going so perfect, or so I had thought.
     I had been called down early from the main office saying I was going to be picked up from school early by my mother due to the inclement weather. Excited at the fact of going home early, I did not ask any questions and quickly hurried to see my mother and have that relief consume me. There had been something much more waiting for me in that office. As I walked into the office I arrive to my mother standing in the hallway with my older cousin Nathan, both with their eyes overwhelmed with tears of sorrow. Suddenly panic began to fill through my body. Frantically the thoughts started to run through my head. Keeping one important thought most prominent than any other. I began to think about my grandfather because at that moment I knew he was lying in a hospital bed waiting on that moment for God to open his arms and take him from the ones whom loved him most.
     I softly uttered the words, “Please tell me Vavo is okay.” I remember the steps which seemed like forever of my mother walking towards me and taking my hands into hers and saying, “He is with God now sweetheart, I am sorry he did not make it.” The words that I had just taken in hurt like daggers penetrating the emptiness of my little heart. No consoling could have patched up the wounds from the words that had been spoken to me. My world had completely ended at that very moment and it was unimaginable to think how we would ever move on from this. How a family could be a family when the glue that held us all together was gone.
     Walking up the stairs to my grandparent’s house and as I grasped the knob to open the door the rush of disappointment that would overwhelm me that he would not be sitting in that very chair which was known to everyone was his. I envisioned and wished to see that comforting face sitting there playing his card games and the moments when he got excited whenever he would win. Entering through that door and seeing nothing but an empty chair and a house full of pain and tears, the reality had finally started to set in. This had really happened and he was really gone. The only comfort that I had was that everyone in that room felt that same pain and sorrow as I was feeling at that moment. I truly at the very moment learned the meaning of family. What it really meant to love and be loved as a family. It wasn’t about how many gifts you got at Christmas or how much money you got in cards on your birthday, but the moments you share that make you love a little more than you did the day before.

Rhetorical Analysis

          The setting of the advertisement is in a modern family home at the family dinner table. The lighting is bright and it seems like a warm comfortable setting with a friendly caring atmosphere. The bright colors in the ad are being used to show happiness amongst the family. There is a family of five being shown in the ad. A father, mother, two boys, and a young girl are shown. The parents are about mid too late 30s. The oldest son about 12 years of age, the second son about seven years, and lastly the daughter looking about five years of age. The youngest daughter is wearing a fairy type costume with a wand and the rest of the family members are dressed I casual everyday clothing. Everyone in the photo is smiling and seems generally a happy loving family. The advertisement shows that they are happy to be having dinner together as a family. It seems as if it was their favorite time of the day to be having dinner together at the family dinner table. The ad seems very uplifting with happy bright colors being used to show happiness and joy amongst the family members. I noticed that neither of the parents is on their cellular devices or any other type of electronic device while dinner is going on with their children. The children are not arguing with one another. On the other hand, laughing and smiles are being shown shared between the family members. Every person involved in the ad looks as if they fully enjoyed their day and would like to share their individual stories with one another.

            The company whom is providing the advertisement is Stouffers. This company makes quick and easy dinner options for families who would rather like to spend more time at the dinner table together rather than spending so much time preparing dinner. The company may want to show how their product can bring a family together around the dinner table unlike other competitors. Other families would be happy like this following family appears to be. The audience could be anyone trying to purchase this product, trying to bring the family together, or maybe just trying something new. I believe the aid is affective because it’s showing a happy family enjoying one another’s company over dinner and the happiness being shown across the table amongst everyone in the ad. The advertisement reflects an influential affect to any audience viewing the ad.

            “Every family dinner is a great story waiting to happen.” Family dinner is time to share stories about how everyone’s day was and what was not so great about it to solve and talk about it as a family. Meaning conversations seemed to be shared best around a family dinner table. The message seems to be as a family, dinner time is one of the most important times of the day. That is your personal one on one time with each other as a family. It’s when you share the topics and stories of your day with one another and express how each member of the family may be thinking/feeling. The ad appeals to the logical mind, the emotions, and the values of the target audience by showing that this could be your family. It may make you want to feel the happiness that is portrayed on their faces. Now ask yourself, is this how dinner time is in your family?

Choosing a Theme

     Family is the most important part of my life. That is why I feel like this would be a good topic for me to write about because it is something that I enjoy speaking about. For me, I have the outmost respect for single parents out there because my mother was a single parent. My sister and I would see our father twice a month but for the most part it was our mother. I could not imagine that being easy to do on your own. Hence is why family is so important to me. I feel that I am so close with my mother because my parents had divorced when I was at such a young age. Naturally, I clung to my mothers side. Having no father around twenty four seven did not immobilize me in anything I wanted to do. It was a tramatic event that occured in my younger years but I would not hold it accountable to why I could not do something just so I would have an excuse. I feel that some kids (mostly teenagers) like to point the finger at their parents for why they have not been successful in whatever they have wanted to do. Which I know first hand is not the case. I would like to compare the succession rate between a child growing up with a set of parents compared to a child with only a single parent in their lives. For my argument I would argue that having two parents does not necessarily mean a better/ happier family.



Other options:


Technology:

• Is technology doing more bad than good?
• Is it more benefical or harmful?
• Observe how internet has impaired certain skills humans should have & how we depend on internet to tell me.
• Argue paper vs screen

Food:

• Food is a huge part of my family & my culture.
• How food brings a family together.
• My grandmother being born & raised in the Acores & coming to America with the recepies she has learned to make while being in a different country & passing them onto her children.
• I would talk to my family members (grandmother, mother, aunts, etc.) & see how they like cooking & learning new things & sharing them with everyone to enjoy.
• I could argue between foreign cooking from different countries vs modern day cooking.

Writers Autobiography

     I am not very creative or imaginative when it comes to writing. Writing is actually at the bottom of things that I enjoy doing. Free hand writing just to put words on paper and express my thoughts at that moment is something I seem to enjoy doing much more. I find that I write better when it has to do with challenges and people who have affected me in my life in some way or form. Typically, my responses to those sort of topics are more genuine then having that not interested tone in my paper.
     Like I am being forced to write it against my will. Last semester I wrote a paper on how to deal with a recent break up. That was the best grade I had received in that class. My proffessor told me it was because it was real, genuine, and she finally pulled me out of my writing. She has finally gotten into me and who I was personally as a writer. When something is about myself or something I can relate to I find that I can write so much better than through a point of view that I can not relate to. Writing is not my favorite past time, but when I just feel like relieving some stress it does come in handy.