When it comes to disciplining your child, is
violence the only way to get your point across. Some parents seem to think that
violence is the only way that their children will listen and or respect them.
In reality there are other actions that can be taken instead of leading right
to violence to solve your problems. Parents who hit their children are only
creating fear not love for the child. Spanking your child may often lead to
them having emotional issues in the future, and may cause them to be abusive to
their own children when they become parents.
For
children who are being disciple with corporal punishment are shown to have
emotional and behavioral issues later in life (Dr. Ben Kim.) More than likely
children who are spanked tend to feel low about them and start to believe that
they deserve to get hit. Eventually some children place the parent’s short
tempered personalities on themselves for making their parents that mad in the
first place. Hitting your child only shows them that using abusive behaviors
towards other people when they make you upset is okay. This way of disciplining
children does not show them how to deal with frustrating situations as they get
older; it only shows them that violence is what gets your point across. That’s
not the solution at all.
Personally
I come from an old fashion Portuguese household. When my mother was growing up
spanking your child was the least uncommon thing to do. Olden days have shown
that, that was the only way to discipline their children. They know nothing about
child abuse and taking things too far as we know about today. No child likes to
be punished in that way but in my mother’s case she couldn’t hate that way of
discipline any more than she did.
She always said she
would never discipline her children in the same ways that she was disciplined
and she never did. She always did say though, that there was a vast difference
in spanking your child in terms of giving them a tap on the hand for doing
something they should not have and physically beating your child. Growing up if
my sister and I would misbehave she would punish us differently. Things like
cell phones, television sets, any other electronic devices, or even not hanging
out with friends for some time would get taken away until further notice. My mother
has this system where she would ground us for a certain period of time and for
every different chore or good thing that we did to help out with each other or
for our parents one day was taken off of our individual punishments. No
physical harm had to be done to me or my sister for us to gain that respect for
our mother and to know that what we had done was wrong for her to punish us in
the first place.
Being a parent of
course you do not want your child to feel like they can walk all over you
because you’re not being violent and abusive with them. You still as a parent
have to take matters into your own hands when it comes to disciplining your
child so they learn the difference between what acceptable behaviors is and
what is not. Some parents take disciplining their child to a whole other level
when the discipline becomes abuse. That’s not acceptable even for the parents.
Abuse also doesn’t just mean physical harm towards the child; it could mean
emotional abuse as well. Sometimes words hurt more than actually being hit
(When can discipline turn into abuse?)
There are some things
that you could do to punish your child but in a non-violent ways. Punishing and
rewarding/ encouragement are a good tool when disciplining your child. Parents are
so quick to notice when a child does bad. Children need to hear praise when
they perform appropriately also. Positive reinforcement makes for less troubled
behavior.
In some
people’s defense, the fact of spanking your child is sometimes okay if done
appropriately. Pediatricians have stated that is more likely that parents spank
children around the ages of 2 to 6 and no older than the age of 10 (Its okay to
spank your kids now.) In some households the parents don’t know any different
on how to raise their children. Using force towards a child may have been something
that they were raised with and used within their family and has always seemed
to be the method to be used. Maybe to some parents they feel that’s the only
way their child listens is when they physically take care of the problem.
Many people come up with
different reasons why they are pro spanking or why they are not. Maybe it’s
because that’s all they’ve ever know when they were growing up and they just
continue with what has always been done; or simply just maybe because they feel
like their child listens better when spanking is being used. Unfortunately some
parents just do it to feel in control and sadly leaving their children probably
emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives. Whatever the case may be there
is a difference between discipline and beating your child.
·
"Should Parents Spank Their Children?" Dr. Ben Kim .com.
Web. 01 May 2012.
<http://drbenkim.com/should-parents-spank-children.html>.
Works Cited Page
·
"When Can Discipline Turn Into Abuse?" Pregnancy and Parenting.
Web. 01 May 2012. <http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/when-can-discipline-turn-into-abuse>.
·
"Get the Word Out!" Get the Word Out! Web. 01 May 2012.
<http://ateasetees.wordpress.com/2007/12/14/its-ok-to-spank-your-kids-now/>.
